ChiTown Beer

High school pranks are getting weaker.

Seniors from New Trier High School in Winnetka found a way to slip a picture of a student drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon into their yearbook, according to UPI.com.

The Beer of Hipsters… and high schoolers?

While this is probably tasteless, and a bit ridiculous, the real story are the high school administrators who have decided this is a terrible thing to do to a yearbook.

“It’s clearly defiant and subversive and intentional,” says spokeswoman Laura Blair.

Principal Linda Yonke did not consider the prank harmless.

“It sort of casts a pall over the whole yearbook,” Yonke said.

Really? One picture ruins your yearbook? I’m not worried so much that kids are drinking underage as the fact that a PBR can can be called “defiant and subversive.”

Good pranks should always, in my opinion, be slightly dangerous. Like this one from the UK. Driving cars into your high school? Awesome.

Unlike Wisconsin, Missouri, Michigan and Ohio, Illinois has not one craft brewery in the top 50 in the nation by sales volume, reports the Medill News Service, identified as breweries that produce less than 2 million barrels per year. (Goose Island doesn’t count as a “craft brew” under the articles standards.)

Apparently, the issue is one of distribution and regulation. Smaller brewers in Illinois have a hard time paying the large fees for an alcohol license and space on distributors trucks.

The article explains:

“Let’s say you want to be a small little brewery, it’s hard to get in with the big name distributors,” said Travis Biggs, a beer specialist and salesman at Sam’s Wine and Spirits in Downers Grove. Biggs said the smaller craft breweries can’t produce the bulk amounts required to sign on with larger distributors.

In addition, taxes and union regulations make it difficult to raise the capital needed to open a brewery.

Illinois, especially Chicago, should do more to support it’s brewing industry. With Milwaukee and St. Louis are obviously the giants of the Midwest production brewing, there’s no reason a Midwest beer Renaissance can’t take root here. And with craft beer sales growing and interest booming, now is a perfect time to launch new breweries here in Chicago.

Just added myself to the http://wefollow.com twitter directory under: #blogger #beer #Chicago

It’s not exactly a secret that my beer-brewing has been less than successful so far…

But! All is not lost. In this video how-to, I’ll show you, the aspiring homebrewer/google-addicted stoner browsing the web, just how to make a decent pot of homebrew. At least, how to put together and boil ingredients:

Educational? Maybe. Howto? You betcha.

Overall: 8.5

So, I’m in Knoxville. I want a beer from Knoxville. I google “knoxville breweries“. I was disappointed to learn that the New Knoxville Brewery had closed.

I found a company called Smokey Mountain Brewery, a conglomeration of restaurants that brew their own beer in house based on the same recipies, which I was told were created by Marty Helles. I was told this by our bartender, and she also explained that Marty was a Nashville-native. I’m still counting his beer as a “Knoxville” beer, because I had no other options and I was in Knoxville when I drank it. Anyway, let’s get reviewin’:

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Overall: 6.5

So, wandering through a Knoxville grocery store, I came across Sweetwater Blue.This brew hails from Hot-lanta, Georgia, and is one of the more interesting combinations I’ve seen, beer and blueberries. The attempt is far better than the execution. The nose is definitely blueberries, and you can detect a hint of that in the finish of what is otherwise a disappointing light ale. Still, this may be a good brew for the summer, especially for fans of Leinenkugel’s many flavor-enhanced beers.

I bought this in Knoxville in an attempt to connect with the south a bit. It isn’t a bad concept, but needs some refining. I don’t like my beer with “natural flavors” added after the fact, but if I have to, this is how I’d want it done.

I never got a chance to pour it, so I don’t know much about the head, color, etc., but hopefully you can forgive me a truncated review.

Tonight, I sat down with Erin Monahan and enjoyed a good couple of ciders. We sampled each, and below is her take on how the drinking went:

Amber Draft or Crisp Apple? HMMMMMM?

Erin Monahan’s Battle to the DEATH: Hornsby’s Hard Cider

I like beer… but I find I can only drink one as I feel full and sleepy a few sips into the second, and where’s the fun in that? I have enjoyed Hard Cider on more than a few occasions. This evening at the Knoxville, Tenn. Kroger, Tom and I discovered in the “Cold Beverages” section of the grocery store an option to pick your own bottles  of beer, cider, etc. for an $8.99 mixed six-pack of your choice. I chose George Hornsby’s Hard Cider in two varieties, the Crisp Apple and Amber Draft. I tried the Crisp Apple first, assuming that it would be dry and tart as a green apple cider and better to have before the sweeter red amber. Woodchuck Granny Smith has twice the sugar content – and is twice as sweet – as Woodchuck Amber… and all Ciders are created equal, right?  WRONG.

The Hornsby’s Crisp Apple is crisp, light and refreshing, and tart and sweet. It is exactly the kind of drink I like to have on hot days in the sun with friends for a cookout or other function where the more drinks you have the better you fit in. The Amber Draft was dry and very much like a beer in taste- compared to other ciders I have had in the past. After a second try I felt secure that the Amber Draft is closer to a beer than a cider, and while tasty and pleasant- not a drink for me. When I crave a beer, I have a beer.

I give the Crisp Apple two thumbs up. Tragically, it has 21 grams of sugar to the Amber Draft’s 9… over twice as much.  And the definite opposite of the Green vs. Amber sugar content for Woodchuck Cider. Enjoy it, but stay in touch with reality. While it is certainly less sugary than the evil Mike’s Hard Lemonade, too many Hornsby’s Crisp Apples and a sugar hangover will follow you into the morning.

I’m in Knoxville, Tenn. at the moment, volunteering for what looks like it will be a very fun event.

The T is for Tom. The hat is because it's a bajillion degrees out.

Unfortunately, there is not a brewery to be seen in the vicinity. The closest thing is a small collection of brewpubs called Smokey Mountain Restaurant and Brewery, and while I don’t want to seem ungrateful, would it kill a city of almost 200,000 people to branch out and get more creative with it’s drinking?

I’ll be heading to Smokey Mountain sometime this week. I’ll also be on the lookout for some Tennesse brews from the few local breweries around. Reviews and previews to come.

Gov. Quinn may be going to bat for beer lovers throughout Illinois.

In an interview on WGN, he said, ““I’m not sure I’m for the alcohol tax. I’m going to take a look at that.” That’s an interesting position, but a welcome one, from a guy who’s proposing to raise the income tax by 50% to pay for the $12,000,000,000 state budget deficit.

The Trib’s political blog, Clout Street, went on to elaborate that “[p]reviously, Quinn said he would consider higher taxes on wine and spirits but was lukewarm to an increase in the levy on beer, which is pegged at 2.6 cents per six pack.”

I still think a tax on sodas would be a much more productive solution to the government’s problem. I’m waiting to see where this goes, because without the beer tax, it may be harder to raise taxes on other liquors, so everyone wins.

So…. I checked in on the vat of beer-ish liquid that’s sitting in my apartment (it shouldn’t be turning into beer because I killed the yeast).

To my surprise, the fermentation lock is bubbling. Not a strong roaring bubbling, but a slow, measured, every-couple-seconds-I’ll-spit-out-a-bubble sort of bubbling.

Now I don’t know what to do with it.  I’m very curious what would happen if i bottle it, so I may mix my priming sugar with it and bottle at least 3-4  bottles to see what I get.

I’m out of town for the week, but will be posting/drinking from Knoxville, Tenn., so I’d have to wait until I got back before I did anything serious with it.

My roommate considered that I should call it “Zombie brew” if it survives this. I whole heartedly agree.